Eli Marburger: Shorts in the Winter


Junior Eli Marburger is the most avid shorts wearer at Lawrence High. I set out to try to understand his mentality in regards to the cold, leg garments, and overall comfort.

Andrew Phalen (reporter): “My name is Andrew Phalen, and I am here today with the LHS Budget. We are conducting an interview with a student who religiously wears shorts. Could you please state your name, grade, and pronouns.”


Eli Marburger (shorts wearer): I am Eli Marburger, he/him, and I am in 11th grade. 


Andrew: Just to start things off, how do you feel right now? Do you feel cold, do you feel like you stand out? 


Eli: No, I just go through my day, do normal things. I just act normal. 


Andrew: The current windchill is -2 degrees, are you feeling that today? 


Eli: My legs are fine, it’s mostly just if my hands are cold. I wish I had gloves sometime, but I do have gloves. 


Andrew: So you wear gloves, a hat, a scarf to combat the cold. But, you won’t do anything for your legs? 


Eli: Yeah, the scarf is for style points. I don’t really feel cold on my legs. 


Andrew: Do you get weird looks when you come into school with all this gear on but your legs are bare? Do people look at you funny, say anything to you? 


Eli: Honestly, the normal person doesn’t but a close friend might come up to me and say, like, what are you doing? 


Andrew: Is there any kind of temperature that would cause you to wear pants? 


Eli: I don’t think any specific type of temperature, but maybe if there is sleet outside. 


Andrew: How many pairs of pants do you own? 


Eli: Two dress pairs and two normal pairs. 


Andrew: Is there an amount of time you would spend outside and start to wish you had pants on? 


Eli: Nah. 


Andrew: theoretically, you had to walk two miles to school this morning, would you wear a pair of pants? 


Eli: Nah. 

Andrew: I don’t understand. 


Eli: I used to walk two miles to school in Sioux City, Iowa. Well actually, after swim practice, when it was like eight o’clock, I’d have my towel. I’d wrap my towel around my body after I’d dried off and would literally freeze around because it was damp, and I would be wearing shorts. I would just walk home in my swimsuit. 


Andrew: How cold would it get outside? 


Eli: If it was windchill and if it was January, it would get down to -30. 


Andrew: Thank you for your time Eli. This was great.