Yes, it’s me. The former athletic directors daughter who got pregnant at 16, but you can call me Anna.

Along with being the child of your former athletic director, I was the freshman on the 4×8 team that placed eighth at state. And the sophomore who qualified as an individual for state cross country meet with a time of 20:13, not to mention my career on the Lady Lions basketball team.

Despite all of these athletic accomplishments that set me apart as a student athlete, my greatest accomplishment was having my son, Kaiden.

However, this accomplishment didn’t come with ease. I was 16 and pregnant attending Lawrence High School, and the whole school seemed to feel comfortable enough to talk about me, but never enough to say “hi.”

I am sure people wonder how I could have had a baby in a world where birth control is so accessible, but you guessed it right. I had unprotected sex. I chose to go through with the pregnancy. I chose to take on this responsibility.

Teen pregnancy sucks. On top the obvious gossip I had to endure from my peers, I also had to take a break from sports, tell my family and coaches I was pregnant, and prepare myself to juggle motherhood with being a student.

Labor is all that is it is cracked up to be. I’m sure most of you reading haven’t had the misfortune of having a placenta abruption, emergency c-section, uterus infection, urinary tract infection and bilateral kidney infection all at once. So I won’t get into it. That would be a waste of space.

In the end, the nine months of discomfort and constantly having to pee was worth it. On July 31, 2017, I gave birth to my son, Kaiden Reece DeWitt.

Kaiden Reece DeWitt is a momma’s boy. Kaiden is a light that has a way of making everyone fall in love with him. All bias aside, I must say, Kaiden is kind of perfect. Everyone who met him was submerged in the joy he brought onto them.

If you have gotten this far, you probably already know that Kaiden passed away on Nov. 8, 2017, shortly after turning 3 months old, due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). But that doesn’t mean my pregnancy is any less valid or that Kaiden’s life is any less important or that he doesn’t continue to change my life every single day.

Dealing with Kaidens loss makes my horrific pregnancy and labor seem like a walk in the park. I would go through that 100 times if it meant I could see Kaiden again, or hear him squeak, or watch the way he makes people’s faces light up when they meet him.

The truth is, I am not a traditional teenager anymore, and I probably haven’t been for a long time. I have gone through pregnancy, motherhood and then I lost all of it. That is hard for me, as a mother, to grasp. I can’t understand why my son is not coming back to me or why God allowed this happen. I put him to sleep and never got to see him wake up again. If you see me in the halls looking sad, it’s probably because I am sad. A part of me left when Kaiden did. This sucks.

If you are wondering how I am doing, you could probably reference the last paragraph. But I know I still have a lot to do here. I can’t just give up. I need to make Kaiden proud. Because of Kaiden, I discovered my passion to become a special education teacher.

At some point I know I will see Kaiden again, but for now, I have to live for him and keep my son alive. Kaiden Reece DeWitt taught me at an admittedly young age what love is, and for that, I am eternally grateful and proud to be his mother.