Scan the aisles of Spirit or Party America, and you’ll find plenty of skimpy costumes for teens and preteens. Unless one is content with dressing as a witch or, heaven forbid, a nun, there is not much in store.

Storybook characters like Goldilocks have been transformed into scantily clad costumes. There’s no question about it– this Goldilocks has decided she wants hot porridge. Red Riding Hood is definitely not dressed to visit Grandma. And if the wind is howling on Halloween, there may be a Little Bo Peep show.

Another option is the referee costume; every father in America would call a foul on the micro-mini and deep-v neckline.

The ladybug and bumble bee costumes are great if you want to wear a headband around your waist and thigh-high stockings paired with a tube top. That ought to create a buzz at Halloween parties.

Surprisingly, one costume that passes the mom-test by a smidgeon is a convict costume. Let’s get this straight. We live in a country where criminals are better depicted than storybook characters.

If the parents are involved in picking out their teen’s costume, they could be to blame. But often times, when these costumes are the only options, parents with busy work schedules or inadequate sewing abilities must try to help their teens pick the least risqué outfit of this collection.

Teens that pay for their own costumes or shop for costumes alone with their parents’ money could also be to blame. Why do they pick out these costumes to objectify themselves? Well, well most of the costumes available are slutty, it’s hard for a teen to choose to stand out in the crowd as the one appropriately dressed person. Halloween costume shops should offer better costumes for teens.

When we were kids, Halloween was about transforming oneself into a character for the night. Now it’s about finding the costume that will be most noticed by guys in a sea of trampy girls. Will the real Halloween please step forward?